Posts Tagged ‘dean koontz’

Heart-Shaped Box

June 7, 2011

Yeah that was pretty cool. Have I told you this story on this blog before? When I was a little kid and I hadn’t figured out anything about being queer or about gender or anything but I knew stuff was kind of messed up and I learned really early on not to talk about it, or else the world would end or whatever, I learned that books were safe. Soon afterward, I figured out that since books were safe, they were a safe way to play with things that weren’t safe- like death and fear and monsters (specifically: identifying with monsters). Way later I figured out that it’s the same structure that gives kinky sex power; it’s an old story and it’s not that interesting EXCEPT that when I was really little I bought like forty Hardy Boys books for a dollar at a garage sale, read all of them, moved on to taking the same two Lois Duncan books out of the library over and over (Stranger With My Face and Locked in Time, let the record show), and immediately afterward, sometime during sixth grade, decided that I was grown enough to read the complete works of Dean Koontz and then Stephen King. Horror novels still feel like home, but as I’ve gotten older and classism, racism, sexism, sexual assault as plot device, one-dimensional female characters, and that kind of thing have become more and more frustrating, it’s been harder and harder to just enjoy a stupid ghost book.

And like, this one wasn’t perfect. There’s borderline unnecessary sexual assault, but unlike say in A Visit From the Goon Squad, it’s more than just a plot point; the fact that it’s the crux of the monster’s back story ultimately ends up reinforcing the otherness/alienness/that-doesn’t-happen-hereness of it in real life in a similar but opposite way rape-as-plot-point does, by being like ‘this is an unthinkable and therefore effectively unreal thing that leads to monsters and ghosts.’ Fuck that. But still, I think I’d rather see it integrated into a story as something real that affects the characters affected by it in a way that’s integral to the story. So while that treatment wasn’t perfect, y’know, I thought it was passable. You might think differently.

Otherwise this was pretty sweet. When I get worried about ghosts, I remind myself about the old Japanese folk belief that dogs can fight ghosts, because I have a dog- and this book did a great job of reinforcing that belief. The monster fights were gory as hell and everybody got totally fucked up and wrecked and it was super intense and there is a ghost monster who has a ghost truck and then also the sweet muscle car the main character- kind of a boring rocknroll white dude, when you get down to it, although in more of a sweet/boring Danzig way than a boring/boring Alice Cooper way- fixes up during a halcyon perfect summer ends up with his cool ex in fucking heaven. Yeah, spoiler: an awesome ghost car goes to heaven.

Hill also flirts with kind of gross, like, ‘this is a story about a dude and the women in his life are interchangeable/overlapping/not all the way real people’ stuff, but again manages not to go so far into that that it makes me hate him. So like. It’s not perfect but it’s not totally stupid, either.

Oh and yeah! Ghosts! The monster is pretty awesome. I don’t want to tell you too much about him but y’know just trust me he’s pretty creepy and scary although some of his pre-ghosty times back story sucks.

I guess I’m just rambling. I don’t have a thesis about Heart-Shaped Box. It was pretty fun and by the end I didn’t hate it, which is more than I can say for most books. I’m stoked to read more of Joe Hill. I missed you, horror novels.


Full Dark No Stars

May 1, 2011

A used copy of Stephen King’s last collection, Full Dark No Stars, showed up at the book store a couple weeks ago, so I decided to read it. ‘Cause I like Stephen King! I think. I started reading him when I was little- I don’t think Needful Things was the first of his book that I read, but I distinctly remember asking for a big ol’ hardcover copy of it either for Christmas or my birthday when it was new, when I was twelve or thirteen. Which puts me in, what, sixth or seventh grade?

Not to digress, but since it’s totally my blog, I remember that by sixth grade I was already really into the Stand. I would draw pictures of the characters from that weighty tome instead of taking notes in math class; there were so many characters that I’d have to use more than one page. I remember feeling very sophisticated that I could keep track of so many characters in a novel that dealt with such weighty matters, especially since I was an enormous Dean Koontz fan- by this point I’d read every Dean Koontz book the Clinton Public Library had, at least once, mostly instead of paying attention to little league or community athletics basketball games my brother was playing (until my parents decided I was old enough to stay home by myself, when I could spend that time wearing my mom’s clothes instead of reading)- and Deaner seemed all straightforward and easy to follow in comparison. I was like, ‘this is grownup shit.’ I remembered this terrifying book cover bumping around my house when I was even littler and being all OMFG TERROR and knowing I wasn’t tough enough to open it up-YET- so when I got around to reading the Stand (which didn’t have monsters in it, except for people, who are the REAL monsters, just like in the most BORING horror movies), I was like, I am maturing to the point of reading the great books of western civilization, and it feels good.

This is the impulse that eight years later would culminate in a semester-long independent study on Ulysses.

Anyway yeah I was like “I’m smarter than all you other sixth grade idiots, and better at Mario 3, and the ‘French rolls’ on my jeans are tighter than yours, I have a pair of Z. Cavariccis and two pairs of Skidz, and a vague understanding about sex and relationships and mortality and gender and other grownup things that I learned from Stephen King which is going to take years to unravel unpack make sense of and replace with something that’s not a classic-rock listenin’ Mainer dad’s idea of plain-talkin’ about the world,” except I probably couldn’t have put it into words.

But so yeah basically I know that Stockholm syndrome has been my go-to metaphor lately- “we internalize busted beauty standards, sick relationship models and patriarchy,” I keep saying, “because we’ve been held prisoner by a totally gross culture for so long that it’s stopped seeming gross”- but I feel like I’ve had a little bit of Stockholm syndrome with Mr. King for a while now. Like, I think it’s unfair the way he gets dismissed for being a genre writer, ’cause obviously it’s snobby to dismiss somebody for writing about monsters. But I also feel like I’ve been giving him too much credit for too long. Like, in Duma Key, when his normal dude protagonist related the name of every song and every band that was playing on THE BONE, the classic rock station he listened to- or all the dad-rock allusions everywhere all over mid-world and end-world and in-world in the metaverse of the Dark Tower books- I keep being like, ‘haha, aw Steve, you doofy ol’ dude,’ and indulging him like he was my grandpa or something. When actually there’s a pretty evil underside to his het white dudeness. Not to get all intriguing jacket flap or anything.

But yeah okay so I read the first story in Full Dark No Stars and I was like, ‘okay, sure, that was good enough to read the whole thing, but if I am being honest with myself, what I like is monsters, and rats are kind of a boring monster, if they don’t even share a hive mind.’ I mean, I guess they kind of do in that story, but not really; it’s a story about its protagonist’s guilt and how it eats at him for a bunch of decades. BORING. (This was why I wasn’t super into Under The Dome, too: the monster was man’s inhumanity to man, who cares. That’s everywhere, and monsters aren’t, and monsters are what I like. But I know I don’t get to demand monsters in everything, and maybe ironically, I’m not even interested in monster lit like Pride & Prejudice & Zombies.) But not so boring I couldn’t read it, although I read it on a mountain trail near a river made up of melting snow just as it was getting warm enough to hang out outside, while my dog ran around, so I think I was probably in a “forgiving stuff for not having monsters in it” mood.

But the second story is like rape culture incarnate- and please, don’t read any further if you don’t want to read about rape culture, because it’s pretty intense.

So like, okay. It’s told from the perspective of a woman who lives alone except for her cat, who makes a living writing cozy mysteries, who at one point refers to her junk as her “snatch.” First of all, do you want to know who calls cunts “snatches?” Stephen King, ten year old boys and maybe drunk hicks? I don’t even know. I guess I don’t know any but I am assuming: not middle-aged cozy mystery writers. I mean, we can talk about Stephen King’s lack of a gift at writing female characters, but I don’t even care, really; he does other things well, right? Or something. Anyway she gets bad directions from a dykey librarian, gets redirected to a trap where an enormous idiot brown-skinned monster dude rapes her, and then she wanders around dazed and making dirty old man jokes about her “snatch,” past a bar where people are playing classic rock, reliving her sexual assault over and over for the reader… it’s pretty gross. I didn’t make it much further than that before I was like ‘I guess I am going to have to break out the rape culture tag again over at KYBB’ and wandered off to… I don’t even remember what I did. I think I was reading The Brain That Changes Itself, which doesn’t have much rape in it, if I recall correctly- I probably read that instead. (Unlike Love’s Executioner, MR YALOM)

My point is just that this story is basically Stephen King’s lowest point, as far as I’m concerned, and I’ve been reading the fucker for like twenty-five years. But the annoying, frustrating streak that’s always there in Mr. King’s writing- the thing where boring misogyny, privilege dressed up like tolerance, and stale dad-isms are all painted to look like common wisdom or telling it like it is- is pretty much all there was in this story. I mean, the female protagonist was a cardboard cutout without any internal consistency. The rapist was- ironically, considering- literally a monster (tall; stupid; and brown-skinned, although I guess here it’s important to distinguish between ‘monster’ and ‘other,’ not that I’d believe Steve is), meaning there didn’t have to be any kind of three-dimensionality to the character, or to the event; rape as something that happens to get the plot moving is a possible definition of rape culture.

So yeah I couldn’t read any more but I felt like I needed to know what happened so I knew how mad to be so I was gonna keep going but Alex pointed out that I could just ask wikipedia what happened so I did and the rest of the story is the cozy mystery writer getting revenge, killing the monster guy and then the dykey librarian. It’s basically I Spit On Your Grave, which I’ve never seen ’cause while I am tough I don’t think I’m that tough, and which also is a story that’s been told. And probably doesn’t need to be retold: a story in which rape is something that monsters do to women who are barely recognizable as women, in which it then becomes the women’s job to get revenge, in order to move past it.

So this story failed utterly for me. I couldn’t read the rest of the book and I’ve said it before, but I’m afraid to open up the Stand or even the first… I don’t know, six? Dark Tower books any more, just ’cause now that I’m old and bitter and jaded and I hate everything, looking all that stuff in the eye kinda feels like pushing my sixth grade self out a window.

Whatever. Zero stars. Or: five pairs of off-white y-fronts.

Forever Odd

August 1, 2010

Ugh I thought I’d be able to gloss over the normativities and just enjoy a trashy novel, but I was wrong. The villain is

-a sex worker
-a vegetarian
-an herbalist
-sex positive

whereas the hero is

-a fry cook
-who was saving himself for marriage until his One Beloved died
-who doesn’t do anything weird.

Boring. I was rooting for the villain the whole time, except she sucked. Plus pretty much nothing happened: SPOILER Odd finds somebody got killed, so he goes to a hotel, where there are some creepy people. THE END. I keep wanting to know what happens in this series, but trudging through its individual volumes is killing me. Dean Koontz’s Frankenstein is workin for me, though.

(this review is from my old goodreads account.)