Robopocalypse

July 3, 2011

I guess that was okay. I dunno. Actually it wasn’t that good. I mean, actually, whatever, it was fine, I just feel resentful toward the fact that this is a book that’s being pushed really hard by marketers and framed as something other than or more than a pulpy robot novel. I mean, dude was smart to name it ROBOPOCALYPSE because that hokey title gives you a hint that it is just going to be a pulpy robopocalypse novel. And it was fine for what it was! I mean, it is totally boring that a book like this is going to culminate in a bunch of military people being an army talking about their guns and formations and other boring things like that, even if they’re a ramshackle operation with their own motivations or whatever. I don’t really care about the assault on robot tower or whatever the fuck- actually, though, if it were an actual assault on an actual ROBOT TOWER, instead of just lazy shorthand I just made up, that would be pretty cool. If he wrote about the tower and the tower was pretty cool.

Instead though, there was a pretty awesome perfect scene where a semi-possessed baby doll fucks with a little girl, and that, as far as I am concerned, was worth the price of admission. (That price was only time because I borrowed ROOOBOOOPOOOCALYPSE instead of buying it.) It was a pretty sick scene with even like cool lighting and stuff. But the rest of this book, I didn’t think the presentation worked; it’s like a sequence of important events involving important people in the ROBOPOCALYPSE, but like, since it’s just a bunch of scenes without much continuity connecting them, I never got that sucked in. I was like, Oh, a robot girlfriend that some old guy has? That’s cool. Oh, a bunch of borderline gross (actually, I would believe someone who told me there was no “borderline” about it) or exploitative depictions of native americans saving people with their wisdom? Uh. Oh, that tween girl has a super robot power skull, that’s pretty cool. But ultimately it just kind of added up to a bunch of mostly okay disconnected scenes involving people who, by the end, I didn’t care enough about to care that the ones who were still alive were doing jankety paramilitary things. Even if they did have cool spider tanks.

So I guess it was pretty fun and I read the whole thing pretty quickly and the metanarrative was about the synthesis of the robot/human dichotomy, which I think is mandatory in 2011. I don’t know. I didn’t hate it. I just don’t see why this is being shelved anywhere other than sci-fi or whatever. I mean, I do- Steven Spielberg bought the rights to the movie before it was even published, so obviously everybody is digging in for a guaranteed successful hit movie in 2013, or whatever. The joke’s on those capitalist fuckers, though, because the world is ending in 2012. Did they forget or something?

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One Response to “Robopocalypse”

  1. Andreia Blue Says:

    I’m seeing this hyped everywhere. It’s the kind of thing that stands a half chance of being a good read. Like, I liked Michael Crichton about a third of the time, and that seems to be the niche this aims to fill. By the way, I liked his robot attack movie Runaway, for example.

    You know what was a kick-ass robopocalypse novel? The Two Faces of Tomorrow by James P. Hogan. It came out in 1979 or 1980. It takes like a hundred pages to get going, but when it does it’s a total rush. It’s the last thing of his I liked, I think — he went on to major right-wing dickery. (Or Libertarian. Same difference.)


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